


Unlaced

by Liadt



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: F/M, Humour, Obscure and British Commentfest, Skinny Dipping, obscure and british commentfest 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4111933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liadt/pseuds/Liadt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie and Victoria have to remove their clothing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unlaced

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 'Obscure and British' commentfest on lj. From a prompt by John_amend_all: Jamie/Victoria, clothes stolen while swimming.

“Quick! Dive into the lake,” shouted Jamie and plunged into the water. Victoria followed suit. They were on an alien planet and a giant, flowering plant had squirted a sticky, viscose substance at them.

“Has it rinsed off?” asked Jamie.

“Yes, it's come off your face and hands, but what about our clothes? They are going to need a good scrub to get the goo off.”

“Aye, I dinna want my best kilt to go the way of that big, hairy beastie that got squirted and dissolved into a puddle. We’ll have to take our clothes off and wash them.”

“I haven’t anything else to wear. We’ll be naked,” said Victoria, alarmed.

“We’ll be covered by the water if we stay in the lake.”

“Hmm.” Victoria wasn’t convinced, but as a round hole began to develop in her dress she would be naked soon enough if she didn’t clean it properly.

****

After being wrung out and bashed on a rock, Jamie hung their clothes on a branch overhanging the lake. 

Victoria stared at the water dripping off their garments. “How long do you think they will take to dry?” she enquired.

“Long enough for a swim, I reckon,” answered Jamie, swimming confidently towards the centre of the lake.

“Wait for me,” said Victoria, in pursuit.

“Hey! Would you look at that,” exclaimed Jamie, pausing mid-swim, to point at the sky.

In the sky, two enormous, leathery, winged creatures were flying in their direction over the lake. 

“Oh no! Not more giant monsters,” said Victoria, in despair. “Do you think they will see us if we hide underwater?”

“Mebbe.” Jamie was doubtful, but he couldn’t think of anything else they could do this far from the shore to escape. The creatures were flying faster than they could swim. 

“And no peeking underwater,” said Victoria.

“I don’t want the last thing I see to be terrifying monsters.”

Victoria gave Jamie a “look” and dived underwater.

“Aye, the beasties are definitely less scary compared to a vexed Victoria. I hope there’s a pretty mermaid combing her hair below to gaze at,” said Jamie before submerging.

A couple of minutes later, Victoria and Jamie broke the water’s surface, unable to hold their breath any longer. They took greedy gulps of air to fill their oxygen-starved lungs.

“Looks like they’ve swooped past,” said Jamie, after scanning the sky.

“Yes and they’ve caught something too, poor thing,” said Victoria, with feeling.

“Better than poor us. Let see how our clothes are doing.”

They swam back to the tree where they had left their outfits hanging from.

“They’ve gone! Our clothes have been stolen!” cried Victoria. “Who could have committed such a deed?”

Jamie glanced back at the sky. “At a guess, the winged beasties, to line their nests.” Now that he looked at the departing creatures properly, what they were carrying looked more like a bundle of rags than an animal.

“Oh, Jamie, what are we going to do?” wailed Victoria.

“Go back to the TARDIS for fluffy towels?” suggested Jamie.

“I can’t leave the lake. I’ve nothing on.”

“I could walk in front of you so no one can see you. If there is anyone here,” offered Jamie.

“Jamie, that’s ridiculous!”

“I was only trying to help,” protested Jamie.

“If my nurse and governess could see me now what would they say?” Victoria felt very miserable about the whole situation.

“What a kinky lass you are for wanting your old teachers to see you starkers,” said Jamie, trying to lighten Victoria’s mood.

“Kinky? Does that mean naked?” asked Victoria.

“It’s slang from Ben and Polly’s time. The ones before you came on the TARDIS,” Jamie partially explained.

“What does it mean then?”

Jamie grinned, swam to Victoria and kissed her. Victoria was surprised, but she couldn’t help kissing him back.

“Oh,” said Victoria, after they had finished kissing. “I thought something kinky would be more wanton and wicked than a kiss.”

“It is.”

“Really?”

“Isn’t it wicked for a man to see anything uncovered below a girl’s neck?” said Jamie.

“My neck is below the waterline. You said the water would “clothe” me and you shouldn’t have been looking!”

“I bet you peeked at me when we were underwater. In fact, I’m sure,” said Jamie, with a wink.

“Jamie!” exclaimed Victoria, again and splashed him in anger.

Jamie retreated from her. “Och, don’t ye want to do something kinky that’d make your nurse faint?”

“Perhaps.”

“How about this?” Jamie broke a leaf off the overhanging branch and tickled Victoria’s nose with it. 

Victoria giggled. “Less kinky than a kiss.”

“You didn’t even know what it meant a minute ago and you still don’t.” Jamie pulled a vine off a bolder on the edge of the lake. He experimentally twisted it around his wrist to test its strength and flexibility. 

“You won’t be able to tickle me with that.”

“I’m not going to,” said Jamie, with a knowing grin. “How do you feel about doing something that would knock your nurse out for a week?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Jamie leaned over to whisper into Victoria’s ear.

“If my nurse was here she would be rendered unconscious for a fortnight! I never did like her very much though, could we try to put her into a dead faint for a month?” requested Victoria, cheekily.


End file.
